Locked Out

Oct 22

Locked Out

I got back from a night out and had lost my keys somewhere along the journey home. It was one of the few occasions I had actually pulled, and I wasn’t going to let a little thing like, the fact I couldn’t get into my room, stop me from nailing.  I first suggested to my new found lady friend that she accompany me down a nearby alley.  Short of politely refusing, I felt this invitation wasn’t seeming to pull the response I was hoping for, and felt the possibility of me pulling slipping from my fingers, and the likelihood of me spending the night alone on the streets of Guildford, a much more realistic one.

Fast running out of options, I had remembered that one of my other housemates was back in his hometown this particular week, and said that he would leave his room unlocked so that I could check in on his hamsters (which I had definitely forgotten to do).  I haphazardly picked the girl up off her feet and staggered into my flat mates room; chucking her in the empty space on the floor, where the bed would have been positioned had it of been my room.  In a drunken mad mess, I went round the room, quite obviously hiding the pictures of my flat mate and his girlfriend; which were plastered all over the place.

It seemed to do the trick though, because a few moments later I was enjoying one of the finer pleasures in life. Being that I was a little past wasted, and the environment was new, I felt explorative.  I went to new places and did crazy things I had never done before, including receiving a golden shower (try a quick UrbanDictionary search if you aren’t sure what I am referring to).

The next morning I snuck back to my room and left the damage as it was.  Later that same day my flat mate returned to find a malnourished hamster, a bed smelling of piss and photos of him and his girlfriend smashed all over the floor.

I said that in his absence his hamster had escaped, urinated on his bed and knocked his room all over the place.  I’m not sure he believes me.


Submitted anonymously from a University student at: University of Surrey, England


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