Gold Digger

Sep 28

I realise that all girls are attracted to money.  So I felt the best way of getting hold of said girls was to apply for jobs involving lots of money.

Below is a copy of the email used to land myself such a highly job.

“Dear Sir,

I believe I am suitable for the position of Treasurer in your society because of my strong interest in the *Name of* Society and have particular interest in being Treasurer.

I think that my skills, qualities and experiences are most suitable for this position.

The acquisition of multiple female specimens, particularly for the task of sexual gratification, is the main motivating force behind my interest in your specimen-abundant society. Furthermore, membership in said society’s executive council automatically guarantees a minimum of five specimens of exceptionally high quality. Additionally, it is common knowledge that female specimens are predominantly attracted to the sound, smell, taste and feel of coinage. Thus, I am applying for the position of Treasurer, a position of great authority, power, affluence and thereby, desirability, in order to maximise my breeding potential, as well as improve my general satisfaction.

I hope that you will consider my application, even though I am positively confident that you will be astounded, bedazzled and otherwise stupefied, as my application not only meets, but also exceeds, any and all criteria set forth by your society for this position. Please also find attached a copy of my CV as well as three samples of my previous work, as requested.”

Submitted anonymously from a University student at: Oxford University, England


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