Brushing Up On My Solo Skills

Oct 23

Brushing Up On My Solo Skills

I’m a Uni fresher at Cardiff living in halls. I thought it would be crazy for me to bring a vibe to Uni, (a) there will be more than enough hot guys if I am desperate, and (b) someone will surely find it and that would be a hell of an embarrassing story.

Well three weeks in and I had come to realise my assumption was wrong.  The guys around town were pretty ugly and I couldn’t be bothered to go out anymore, so my flatmates set off on a night on the town and I cuddled up alone in my bed with a bit of TOWIE.  I don’t want to blame Joey Essex on what happened next, because believe me – he is not my type, but I got a little hot and wet and wanted a little action.  Rather than rely on the frankly disappointing talent of Cardiff I decided to ride solo.  So I quickly hopped into the bathroom and grabbed my electric toothbrush.  I was pretty clean, I used a brand new heads for the machine, settled in to the darkness, sprawled out commando on the bed and away I went.

I can only have been at it a few minutes, eyes shut, deep in thought when I all of a sudden had a strange sense that somebody else was in the room.  My eyes sprung open and looming directly over me and peeping his head round the door was the Cardiff Birchwood Halls night watchman, literally watching over me.  He muttered that he was sorry and that he had knocked and he was just doing the rounds and checking what the noise was because he thought it was a mini fridge which are banned in rooms.

I walked past him the other day and he gave me the creepiest smile.  Do I report him or keep our dirty little secret?


Submitted anonymously from a University student at: Cardiff University, Wales


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